Born into bad news
by Lilli89
Summary: After becoming a foster child, 12 year old Maddie lives with Jay and Erin until one day changes everything and forces her to travel back in time, to learn about her dark childhood…
1. Chapter 1

Please note: I'm from europe. Sorry for my horrible english. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story and have as much fun reading as I did while writing.

Maddie is a 12 year old girl who lives with Erin and Jay and is also raised by Voight.

She has a dark past, because her mum and her sister got killed while she witnessed the crime. And there are some other events I don't want to give away...

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„She's gone", Erin screamed through the office, getting confused views from the team.

Obviously nobody understood what she was saying.

Antonio put the phantom images aside, exchanged irritated views with Atwater, Ruzek and Ollinsky.

„What does it mean? She's gone?", he repeated when Erin took a deep breath, unbelievable what just happened.

Hank Voight, who came back from his lunch break looked at her with wide eyes. Same as Halstead who was busy with paper work.

„Maddie's not in the car anymore. I told her to waite and when I looked next door I noticed that her file is gone. Burgess wanted to transfer the maps tomorrow. It includes all documents we collected with the help of child-service 5 years ago. Also Maddies case."

„So what?", Adam asked in confusion, uncertain what Lindsay meant. Before Erin explained it to him.

„Everything you ever wanted to know about Maddie and her family is written dpown in this folder. The incident with her parents, her past, the whole story about her father. What if she founds out", Erin assumed, reaching for her phone with shaky hands.

Only the voice mail. Maddies cell phone was off.

„Oh lord."

Halstead jumped up from his desk.

„She knows it. Damn, everything makes sence right now.", he combined thoughtfully looking outside the window, being watched by the whole team.

„She asked me if she could work next door yesterday. She said it was for a report she had to do for history. So I allowed her to work on the computer in the archive room."

Erin looked like she was ready to murder him.

„Are you kidding me? You left her alone? In a room full of crime reports?"

Jay hit the wall with his fist, annoyed about himself, getting an angry look from Lindsays side..

Meanwhile Hank Voight started to move around. A fact which spread.

„Where ist he copy? I want a copy of this files. Right now!", he shouted.

But Burgess and Roman looked at each other in shock, already feeling the anger coming.

„That's not possible, Seargant."

„Excuse me?", Voight behaved like he didn't understand her acoustically.

„We've sent the copies to Philadelphia on Friday."

„I don't care. Get it fixed!", he yelled, before it became dead calm in the room.

Erin did a hard job to fight the tears. Madeiline meant the world to her. She was like a daughter and a younger sister to Jay.

"If this is true, she already might be on her way. She's searching for her past. She wants to know what happened 8 years ago", Dawson received, before Voight shared the upcoming tasks.

„Lindsay? Halstead? You search the whole area and be ready for orders. As soon as we got the adress we're calling out for you. If Maddie walks alone on the streets at this time, she might be in big trouble. Let's go everybody!"…

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„It's our fault, Jay. We should have told her earlier. We have been waiting for far too long", Erin accused herself, while she was sitting in the car with Halstead, still waiting for further commands.

Jay, also blaming himself, looked at her in sadness, pulling out a tissue, he reached to her.

Since five years Lindsay, Halstead and Voight cared for Maddie Holister who was 12 by now.

The station became a new home to her, after she changed between several forster families and ran away from childrens home.

She lost her mum and sister in one of the most brutal ways and witnessed how her Dad got her family killed.

Jay laughed in irony and shook his head.

„Sorry but how did you thought to explain that to a kid? By the way, Madeleine your mum and sister were stabbed in front of you when you were just 4 years old? You forgot about everything because your brain displaced your PTSD? Are you for real?"

Halstead sighed deeply then he took Erins hand.

„I think we agreed about telling her when she become sixteen. Everyone in the team. Without exception. Even Mouse said that it would be better. And you know what that means."

Erin ran her left hand through her hair. The ongoing events took a toll on her nerves.

„It's too late, Jay. Who in hell knows where she is right now? Her uncle has a criminal record. Same do her cousins. Her old adress doesn't seem like an area where you would left a 12 year old. Even not at this time. And you don't want to know how it ends if she walks to her old home?"

Her speech was interrupted by Voight who contacted them over the speakers.

„Halstead? Lindsay? We got the adress. It's 69th Park Avenue. Meeting in front of the house."

„Copy that", she told Voight, when Jay started the engine and turned off to the side road. Lindsay watched the passengers at the street. Drug dealers, prostitues and strip clubs. Defnietly not good surroundings for a teenager.

„There are two SVUs in front oft he house. The area seems clean. Lindsay? Halstead? We're getting in. Ollinsky and Dawson take their parts from the roof", Voight informed, before they left the car and loaded their weapons..

Jay looked at Erin in a concerned way, stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

„We're going to find her. Trust me Everything is gonna be alright."


	2. Chapter 2

„What did you do to my parents? What happened 8 years ago?"

Trembling and fearfull Maddie stood in front of her uncle who held a gun to her head.

„You should have never come to this house. You made a big mistake."

Her nails touched the flesh of her arm to cope with the ongoing fear.

„Have you seen it? Did you witness how he stabbed them? Answer me."

The old men increased the grip around her neck.

Painfully the gun point digged into her forehead.

„You're the same scum like your mum. You look exactly like her."

Maddie started to cry in silence but tried her best to hide the tears.

„Shot me. I've got nothing to loose."

„Chicago PD. Put your gun down", a familiar voice screamed towards the man when Maddie recognized Erin who just appeared at the opposite side oft he room.

But her uncle didn't move.

During seconds his finger moved tot he trigger. But before he could even pull it, a loud bang disturbed the silence in the room.

Maddie was flung through the air because she couldn't resist the power of the shot.

Being in some kind of trance she recognized how Antonio kneeled down in front of her uncle to search fort he pulse, then she was pulled away by two strong hands.

„Chicago PD. Lincon 15-21. We need an ambo to 69th Park Avenue", she heard Erin speaking to her radio. That's when she realized that it was Jay who pulled her into a warm hug.

The whole adrenaline was kicking in while she heard her own crying which seemed miles away.

She wanted to fight him, thought about running away. But Jay kept her save in his arms.

Quietly she started crying in his bullet proofed vest, while he was rocking her gently, before the sirens mixed up with the noises from the street.

She couldn't take it anymore. But no one knew that it was only the beginning of a neverending nightmare…

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„Will? How is she?", Halstead asked his older brother when the whole team met in front of the ICU.

Will Halstead entered the visitors area and looked at them in surprise because nearly the whole station was sitting in the waiting area at the hospital, waiting for further news.

Even if Maddie got out with some scars and scretches, she broke down on the way to the hospital, leaving everyone concerned what else had happened before.

Will looked at his clipboard and nodded in satisfaction.

„She had a circulatory breakdown. It's a result of an extremely stressfull situation. Vasovagal syncope. As konsequence to a shocking experience. Her breathing stopped so her brain wasn't supplied with oxygen. That looks scary at first. But is finally just a harmless reaction. Her bruises should be cooled with ice and we supplied her with an intravenous drip to make sure that she doesn't collapse again. But I'm more worried for her psychological state. She looks paralyzed to me. I don't know what happened to her but if you ask me that isn't a good sign. Finally you should better speak to a psychologist about this."

„Can we see her?"

Will didn't seemed enthusiastic.

„Two at at time. Anyone else should waite until tomorrow. She will be released in a few hours. We just wanted to make that her blood pressure is fine."

„What about her uncle? The guy who was brought in 20 minutes ago?", Hank wanted to know.

Will Halstead shook his shoulders.

„Not ready for questioning. But he's probably gonna make it."

Voight glanced to Erin and Jay.

„Lindsay? Halstead? You're going. I'm gonna visit in the everning when everything cools down a bit", he tapped on Lindsays shoulder before he waved towards his own direction to make clear that the rest oft he team should follow him to the station.

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„Hey, attagirl", Jay greeted Maddie when he and Erin entered the room, scared how things would work out after the event.

Maddies view went to the wall.

Halstead pulled a chair to her bed, while Erin took place on her mattress.

Madeleine looked lost in the large hospital bed. The torture was visible. It wasn't possible to ignore the scratches and bruises on her face.

But when Erin tried to take her hand Maddie resisted, staring at the window.

„You knew everything about it and you didn't tell me. You lied to me for years, told me that my parents died at a car accident."

Her eyes started to fill with tears.

„Why?"

Jay took a deep breath.

With Erin being unable to speak, he tried to find words, which explained it.

„We wanted to protect you because sometimes it's better if you don't know the truth at once."

She looked at him with a sad and empty view.

„Why did he do that?"

Erins helplessly glanced at Jay.

„I wanted to know", Maddie begged her foster parents that remained in silence.

Finally Erin startet to speak.

„As far as you could read it happened like it's written down in your file. Your parent's didn't die at a car accident. You were 4 when your dad killed your mum and your sister. He had drug problems and there was violence around the house and at this day it escalated. You witnessed everything. That's what we know from your social worker. Furthermore you weren't able to classify time but they assume that it traumatized you. That your brain developed the strategy to displace everything."

Silent tears started running down her cheeks. Erin did a hard job to resist pulling Maddie in her arms.

Jay, obviously feeling the same, threw sad glances at Erin.

„Uncle Hank and uncle Alvin arrested your dad and he's gonna spend his life time in prison. He won't get out, Maddie."

Her tears hit the white bed sheets.

Jay seareched for a tissue and handled it to Maddie.

„Why didn't he kill me?"

Jay shook his head and bit his lips, to show Erin not to tell her the whole story.

„Sweetie, I don't know. We never found out. You were sleeping in different rooms and we think that you managed to hide yourself."

„I can't remember anything", she mentioned sadly.

Jay nodded in relief.

„Maybe it's better that way."

But in contrast she started to sob more heavy.

„No, it's not. He killed them and I don't know why", Maddie started to sob in her hands, making Erin to pull her in her arms.

Jay looked at them sympathetically, helplessly rubbing Maddies back to comfort her as good as he was able to..

Overwhelmed they watched how her foster child suffered from the pressure of the last hours, until she powerlessly felt asleep in Erins arms…


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you guys :) I hope you like the following chapter :)

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„She nearly cried the whole afternoon. Jay is with her", Erin was pouring some coffee but failed when the brown drink was landing on the carpet.

Even if she was back at the station her thoughts still remained at her appartement.

„Shit", she teased herself, trying to get rid of the spots.

„How about a day off?, Hank suggested but Lindsay denied.

„And what about the paper work? Jay is already staying at home with Maddie", she explained. Hank Voight shrugged his shoulders.

„You're so stupborn", he whispered, before Ollinsky started speaking.

„Crying is a good sign. Even better than burrying her feelings. This kid needs time to get over it", he tried to encourage Erin, who didn't see it that easy.

„I don't know if this is really enough. I still could kill myself for not delivering the files earlier."

Ollinsky raised his eyebrows and exchanged a meaningful expression with Hank.

„Sit tight and listen kid", Voight pointed at her chair, what she realised unwillingly.

„There is no excuse what Sullivan did to his wife and daughter and we all know that Madeleine is having wounds fort he rest of her lifetime. And I don't mean it in a physical way. But what she needs right now is a stable environment and the feeling that her past won't define her future. It depends on all of us. And if we continue like we already did there might be a future. Even if there are setbacks."

Erin shrugged her shoulders. That all sounded great but she wasn't certain if reality looked like Hanks theory

„Nevertheless, she wants answers to her questions. And no one of us would be able to give it", Erin noticed with a sad voice.

„Trust me, Hank. This is gonna have consequences for all of us. Maddie isn't stupid and finding out about her past will change everything for her. Being 12 is a vulnerable age. She's not ready fort he truth. "

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Jay was knocking on her door and sticked his head to the door.

„Everything alright? May I come in?"

Maddie was sitting on her bad, wrapped up in a warm blanket, while she stared at her Iphone.

Her eyes were red from crying and she leaned her head against the wall.

When she recognized Jay, she put her phone aside.

He smiled at her weakly, showing her the hot chocolate he had hidden behind his back.

„I've got something for you. After an old receipt from my mum. Chocolate milk with cream. Should help you to fall asleep."

„Really nice from you. But I'm not thirsty."

He sighed, making a grimace before he put the tablet on her desk and grabbed her chair, to sit on it on the opposite, so the back was in front.

„I don't remember anything. My whole head is empty. I don't really get it. If I was 4 I, should remember. Or is it normal, that you forget about your own mother?"

Jay folded his hands, watching her in concern.

„Do you still remember your mum?"

She knew that Jays mother was dying when he was 25. Maybe there were parallels between him and her. But he shook his head.

„You know, if your brain can't take what your eyes see, your body has it's own strategies to work it out. It's like war. And that's possibly why you can't remember. But deep inside it's saved. Even if your head forgot how to open that lock."

„Don't try to soothe me. It doesn't change anything at all."

„No, Madeleine. I'm serious."

„Do you know someone from the FBI? On criminal minds, they use cognitive interviews, to get old information back."

But Jay just smiled sadly.

„Maddie, even if I knew someone, I wouldn't do it."

„Okay, then tell me more about my past. You have to remember anything. Seriously, you probably talked with Erin about it. Uncle Hank talks about all cases."

But he remained as mute as a stone.

„If you're old enough we're going to sit together with Erin and Uncle Hank and talk about further details."

Maddie crossed her arms.

„Great. I already could be dead at this time. I'm 12 years now. I'm able to handle it. Acctually it's my right to know about it. Otherwise I would never understand who I am and where I came from."

He grabbed her phone, putting it on her nightstand.

„I can't tell you. Even if I wanted. There isn't anything else I could tell, than it is written in your file and I wasn't there when they arrested your Dad. I'm really sorry."

Should she trust him? Did he tell her the truth? But Jay avoided further discussions.

„Come on. It's a already late. Bedtime for you", Halstead took the blanket to cover her up, but she didn't stop to question him.

„What if you would drive me to this orphenage? To the beginning where everything started. If I was brought in there, they probably remember something about me", Maddie begged him, when he took place on her mattress.

„You never give up, do you?"

She denied, a devilish glance on her face. But I want to talkt o Erin first."

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He spreaded his hands to pull her in a hug.

„Sleep well", Jay twinkled, before he wanted to leave but Maddie held him back.

„Can you keep the door open?"

„Sure", he nodded, finally leaving the room.

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„How is she?", Erin asked Jay on the phone, when she sat in the office, working lately.

„Nightmares. I'll give you three guesses what they are about."

„Great", Erin hissed ironically, sighing, when she looked at her paper work.

Ruzek and Dawson glanced at each other in a worried way.

„Did she fell aslee again?"

„Yeah, but I'm not sure how long."

„Okay, I'm gonna finish my report and come home as fast as possible. We still have an air mattress in our closet. If she might awake again, you keep staying with her."

„Will do. I love you."

„Same do I. See you."

She ended the phone call, put her phone away and sight.

„Still bad dreams?", Antonio questioned and Lindsay confirmed.

„I have to go earlier than expected. Jay sounded thrilled and I think Maddie needs us both right now."

„If you need a good therapist. I can recommend Dr. Fisher. He was the best choice after Diegos abduction."

„Thanks, but I'm not sure if this ist he right way. Maybe she just need to get over this on her own."

„She didn't know how her Dad murdered and what has happened the upcoming days, did she?"

Erin denied.

„The file didn't include everything. Luckily some reports oft he wittnesses. Otherwise she would feel much more worse. Voight already hid the other documents."

Erin didn't like to lie at Maddie for a further time. But finally it was just for her best. How else would you explain a 12 year old, that her Dad killed her mum and sister with 30 stabs of a knife?

„Nightmares can be really bad. I had some kind of a phase when I was 10 or 11. I used to sleep on the floor next to my parents bedroom until they ended", Ruzek admitted shruggins his shoulders and looked at Erin with a serious glance.

„This case seems like a never endling nightmare. And it's nearly a wonder, that Maddie developed in such a good way after all of this. I expect, that you know the records, this social worker did?", he asked Erin, who confirmed his expectation.

„I honestly have to say, that I had to stop at the middle of the report. After reading all of this, you just want to hug this kid, without letting go. I mean, she witnessed how he stabbed her family. The notes also say, that she describes her mum lying at the ground bleeding out and how she was able to hid until the neighbours came in. She was left with her mum and sister for 8 hours until Voight and Olinsky came in."

Erin bit her lips, moving her head.

„I know Adam. I'm aware of the events."

Lindsay grabbed her jacket and got dressed.

„Greet her for us, and tell her that she's welcome every time", Ollinsky mentioned, when Lindsay entered the stairs.

„Will do. See you tomorrow, guys."


	4. Chapter 4

„Great. I already thought you would never made it home", Jay greeted Erin with a kiss when she entered their appartement, placing her keys on the shelf.

„I stucked in a traffic jam", she mumbled, while she undressed and put her gun in the safe.

„How is Maddie?"

Jay shrugged his shoulder. Since she woke up several times he tried his best to calm her down.

„Nothing changed. Good would be an exaggeration."

Erin tiptoed to the room of her fosterchild, then quietly opened her door. The bedside lamp was still on. She managed to walk to her bed. Her views met with Jays when she took a seat on the bed edge, tenderly stroking Madeleines forehead.

She didn't wake up. Obviously her condition was too powerless.

Erin walked away quietly and followed Jay to their bedroom.

She took her seat on the couch while in the meantime Jay pured some Scotch in her glas.

„What now? She wants to talkt o her uncle and if that's not possible, she wants to visit the orphanage she was placed in."

„No way."

Lindsay took some swallows before she put her glas aside. Jay sighed deeply.

„We can'd do that, Erin. If we ignore this, we gonna lose her completely."

Tiredly Erin drove through her hair.

„She's far too young. She's not able to deal with the truth."

„Yeah, but whatever our desiscion might be. There will be consequences, which effect everything. If it survives the relationship to us, she might have problems to get over her past. None of us would hold her back in searching for her identity. Not you, not Voight or me. Did you never ask your mum about your Dad?"

Erin shook her head.

„Jay, this is totally different. Madeleine is 12 and in a vulnerable age. My Dad didn't kill my mum or brother and made me watch this."

„At 16 she wouldn't be more ready than now."

„Oh yes. She would be more able to differentiate."

„Probably, but lying doesn't bring us anywhere. She already knows most of the story."

Stubborn Erin sticked to her opinion.

„I'm against it. Not now. If she got more calm we could talk about further details. But the more she knows, the higher rises her risk of getting in danger. It's not only her uncle. I'm not sure if the old conncetions still exist. And we can't influence what her uncle or the orphanage is going to tell her."

Jay was lost for words.

„You and me know how it works if someone is surrounded by bad influences. Thats what I wanted to save Maddie for."

„But you're the best investigation that your past doesn't define your future at the same time."

Erin laughed ironically.

„Yeah, because Voight pulled me out and got me off the street. You can't compare my life with Maddies. She has seen her mother and sister dying."

Jay stretched his arm, until his hand touched Erins finger.

„What about going on a trip next Friday. All of us three. Just getting out oft he city."

„Hank would never allow this. Not after you stayed at home with Maddie for two days."

„Lets give it a try."

Linday squeezed his hand and rolled her eyes.

„Okay", she finally agreed and finished her glass of scotch. She already got up to enter their bedroom when Jay held her back.

They ended up kissing each other, before she paused.

„Any plans for tonight? Because I already know how we could kill time", Jay smiled a devilish glance on his face because his lips touched Erins again…

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5 days later…

„Hey, little rebel", Adam greeted Maddie, who just entered the office. He pulled her in a hug, before Ollinsky clapped her shoulder.

„Hi, kid. How was school?", he glanced at her concerned, when she smiled tiredly.

„Same as usual. Boring as hell", she smirked while her view wandered around the room.

She already wanted to ask about Erin and Jay, when Lindsay closed the door to Voights room.

„Hey, sweetie. How was your day?"

Maddie didn't answer, just pointed to a paper she handled to her foster mum.

Being kind of optimistic first, Erins face turned serious withing minutes.

„I failed the test."

Lindsay looked at her in confusion.

„Really? I thought you practised with Jay."

„Sure, but suddenly I didn't remember anything at all. Like a black out."

Erin rode the paper, then stopped.

„What is your teacher saying about misbehaviour? Right here?"

Maddie started to get nervous.

„Mrs. Ross banned me from her history class. I fall asleep and couldn't give the right answers twice. Thats why Stephanie and Amanda started spreading rumours about me. They told others I would take drugs."

Erin knew about the bullying in Madeleines class. Since she was bullied in her own high school years, she took this issue more than serious.

„Did you defend yourself?"

„Sure", she waved with her hand. Even if Lindsay suspected she didn't tell the truth.

„Should I talk with your class teacher?"

Madeleine denied determined.

„No, I'm gonna deal with this on my own first and if it's not working we're gonna talk again, ", Maddie answered quickly then pointing at the stairs.

„I'll be right back. I'm at the restroom", she explained and put her backpack next to Erins desk before she entered the main floor where she greeted Sgt. Platt…

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„I don't think this is such a great idea. You're spying on her."

Erin looked at Jay in shock, while she stared at Maddies phone. Jay who didn't like her desicion shook his head.

„I just looked at her phone who stated ringing and then this message arrived. Listen, Jay. Her whole class makes fun of her since some girls found out about her past. Or how do you call this kind of hate messages? Thats cyber bullying. We have to send her to another school."

Jay glanced at Erin like she was a psycho.

„And this fixes it?"

Lindsay put the smart phone back in Madeleins backpack.

„Probably we should think about home-schooling."

„Or maybe just talk to her, before you decide about her whole life on your own? I'm really excited how you want to explain your knowledge about her being bullied in class? If she finds out, that you spy on her, she even pushs you farther. We could have used easier ways. Like mouse pinging her phone or something", Halstead remonstrated.

„I just worry, Jay. Despite oft he fact that I noticed further signs."

He looked at his girlfriend in confusion. Obviously he didn't know what she meant.

„She looks extremely tinny. And she got scars on her arms which could suggest self-harm. Even if she explains it by falling down. To me it looks like these wounds belong to a knife. They are straight and exact."

Jay looked at his partner with wide eyes.

„You mean she cuts herself?"

Erin shook her shoulders.

„The question is: How do we talk about it, without spreading mistrust and to risk that she got even more closed."

Their conversation was interrupted by Hank Voight, who looked at them confused.

Suddenly they got quiet.

„Is there something wrong?"

„No, everything is fine."

„We just talked about a different case", Jay explained to agree with Erin.

Just then Maddie arrived at the office while she was busy talking to Ruzek.

Since both were horrorfans, they obviously speculated about the latest movie.

„ The following week, Adam wants to see Frankenstein with me. Sounds good, doesn't it?"

„Absolutely", Erin whispered with a fake smile and swallowed hard.

„Listen guys. Regarding the failed test. I've got a lot of work to do. I promise I will be better next time", Maddie excused for her bad grades

„If you're ready we do some math together", Jay suggested making Maddie to nod.

Obviously she did her best to distract everyone from the things which really bothered her…

But she wouldn't be able to blame Erin at all…


End file.
